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01:28pm 31/05/2007
  You know you're a pessimist and feeling displaced when it takes a lot to even try and believe the words that come from their lips. And you know (or hope) they'd never intentionally lie to you.  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
Let's just waste some more time   
07:50pm 21/12/2006
  I am tired of being the one to try in some of my "friendships." I've been too nice for my own damn good. Fuck that.

I quit.

Just like I am quitting at life, ha.

On a positive note, I'm starting to believe my boss really doesn't hate me.

Oh and I FINALLY have a rough copy of my tentative tatoo. Best friends are amazing. Muchas gracias to her.		  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
guess the world will never know   
10:51pm 20/11/2006
 
music: Blood Red Summer- Coheed and Cambria
Dirty little secrets are fun.

As long as they remain secret.

So please don't tell my secrets keep. (yeah I stole a lyric line)		  
     

(1 carved away | swallow a knife!)
 
The freaks are playing God.   
11:40pm 21/08/2006
 
music: Tearjerker- Korn
I don't wear summer well at all. Winter adorns me better. Ironic.

And this is me assumming it's that time of year.


"And I wish I could feel it
And I wish I could steal it
Abduct it, corrupt it, but I never can
it's just saturated loneliness

Does the silence get lonely?
Does the silence get lonely?
Who knows?
I've been hearing it tell me
I've been hearing it tell me
Go home

Cause the freaks are playing tonight
They packed up and turned out the lights

And I wish there was something
Please tell me there's something better
And I wish there was something more than this
Saturated loneliness

And I wish I could feel it
And I wish I could steal it
Abduct it, corrupt it, but I never can
It's just saturated loneliness

And the bath waters cold
And this life's getting old,"

It's almost completely unfounded. Almost.
It's not within credible reason.
It's not because his smile was directed for someone else because there is no him.
Perhaps it's because there is no him.
There is no one too smile for.
There is no intimacy.

There are those who remind you that despite all the unfalable flaws you display so well, you are you.
They like you.
And remind you that there is beauty out there,
and you might be a part of it.
They make you smile.
You love them for it.
But it's not the same.

It just is.

It's just...."saturated loneliness."

I'll take a bitter pill, please.


In 2 months I'll look back and delete this fucker and constantly berate myself.

It's just that time of year.		  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
   
10:15pm 13/08/2006
 
music: lips of an angel- hinder
Telling someone you love who you know you won't speak to for the next few months that he'll be okay and that his fear is what's going to keep him alive, while tears are falling freely from both of you and he tells you that he thinks he has probably made the biggest mistake he will ever make and he finally admits to you that for the first time, he's truly scared, is heartbreaking.		  
     

(1 carved away | swallow a knife!)
 
Call me when you're sober   
08:51pm 02/08/2006
 
music: Lips Like Morphine- Kill Hannah


Track Listings:

01. Sweet Sacrifice
02. Call Me When You're Sober
03. Weight Of The World
04. Lithium
05. Cloud Nine
06. Snow White Queen
07. Lacrymosa
08. Like You
09. Lose Control
10. The Only One
11. Your Star
12. All That I'm Living For
13. Good Enough		  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
21   
12:51pm 01/07/2006
 
mood: tired
music: Fragile- Lacuna
Best muther fucking birthday ever.

LOVE you all.		  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
really no subject   
09:59pm 26/06/2006
  2.1.

Thanks to my girls <3		  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
Testosterone Boys and Harlequin Girls....   
08:01pm 11/06/2006
  Invalid video URL.

I shall be completely legal. I'm both excited and dreading this one. But I'm going to try and make the best of it.

Work, work, and more work. Socially, my life is practically non exsistent.

*random* Top 5 songs I can't get out of my head (old and new):

1. Lying is the most fun a girl can have wihout taking her clothes- Panic! At The Disco. Such a good song. Their best IMO. "I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any *insert boy or girl* you'll ever meet." best line ever, right now

2. Prelude 12/21- AFI. A lullably to creep out the young children you babysit at night before they go to sleep. Ok not really, but I <3 it. I'm slightly disappointed with the new cd, save for prelude and a few songs.

3. Cure My Tragedy (A Letter To God)- Cold. I recently found this old CD, popped it on and forgot how much I loved this song for no particular reason. it's nothing really special but I dunno....

4. Grand Theft Aututm a.k.a Where Is Your Boy Tonight- Fallout Boy. I am thoroughly enjoying 'Take This To Your Grave' better than 'From Under the Cork Tree' right now. And I <3 FUtCT....

5.Her Portrait in Black- Atreyu. I'm sad to admit I haven't heard a whole lot of stuff from Atreyu even though I have liked the few that I have and they have been around for years. Almost feel like I'm jumping on a bandwagon. By far the best song on the Underworld: Evolution soundtrack.

Spekaing of Underworld, I bought the DVD and it doesn't play on my DVD player. Talk about being disappointed.

in case you didn't notice, I only updated this because I was beyond bored.		  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
officially   
11:31pm 17/05/2006
  Halfway thru The Da Vinci Code. Very, very intriguing. My goal is to finish by Friday night.

Mona Lisa Tickling Herself! LMAO, literally.		  
     

(3 carved aways | swallow a knife!)
 
random   
08:51pm 10/05/2006
  Just for the record: Today slightly sarcastic with a chance of hate  
     

(1 carved away | swallow a knife!)
 
   
10:52pm 04/05/2006
  Brand New in orlando @ the house of blues. anyone interested?  
     

(5 carved aways | swallow a knife!)
 
Horrible. Week.   
07:22pm 29/04/2006
  Remember my last entry. Fuck that. Not there. and I'm fucking upset about it  
     

(swallow a knife!)
 
Foxy, Foxy   
09:45pm 27/04/2006
 
music: American Witch- Rob Zombie
Less than 24 hours and counting until Chris Brown makes me want to be a naughty girl, and Staind, Mudvayne and Zombie make me want to lose my fucking mind.		  
     

(1 carved away | swallow a knife!)
 
note to self   
06:00pm 22/03/2006
 
music: Note to Self- From First to Last
Tomorrow I get a root canal. Lovely.

P.S: The Melting Pot is the best restaurant ever.		  
     

(8 carved aways | swallow a knife!)
 
 
faydid_hopes
 
 
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